“ku\u015flar toplanm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcyorlar
ke\u015fke yaln\u0131z bunun i\u00e7in sevseydim seni\u201d
Cemal S\u00fcreya<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Irma\u011f\u0131n kenar\u0131nda s\u00f6\u011f\u00fct dal\u0131 yontuyorum pasl\u0131 \u00e7ak\u0131mla, duda\u011f\u0131mda bir \u0131sl\u0131k. Daha yeni \u00f6\u011freniyorum \u0131sl\u0131kla ritim tutturmay\u0131. Irmak, t\u0131pk\u0131 hayat gibi kimi zaman nazl\u0131-dalg\u0131n, kimi zaman k\u0131vrak bir k\u0131srak gibi co\u015fkulu akarak ge\u00e7iyor yan\u0131mdan. Zaman umurumda bile de\u011fil, hayat umurumda bile de\u011fil, kan\u0131m deli ak\u0131yor, gencim daha\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suat g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor uzaktan, y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnden tan\u0131yorum. Hep ayn\u0131 g\u00f6mle\u011fi giyi\u015finden, hep ayn\u0131 tebess\u00fcm\u00fc giyini\u015finden. Bir tercih meselesi de\u011fil ya\u015famak bazen, zamanla anl\u0131yorsun. Ba\u015fka g\u00f6mle\u011fi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in hep ayn\u0131 g\u00f6mle\u011fi giyiyor, ba\u015fka se\u00e7ene\u011fi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in hep g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyor Suat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Biz o yaz Suat\u2019la \u00e7ok y\u00fczd\u00fck \u0131rma\u011f\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131nda, Metin ve S\u00fcleyman\u2019la da. Do\u011frusu y\u00fczmekten \u00e7ok bo\u011fulmamay\u0131 ba\u015farmakt\u0131 ilk ba\u015fta \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z. Sonra sonra geli\u015ftirdik y\u00fczmeyi, ak\u0131nt\u0131yla uyum i\u00e7inde ya\u015famay\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Metin bana mahallede sevdi\u011fi k\u0131zdan, ilerde o k\u0131zla evlenece\u011finden bahsediyor. Dinlemek istemiyorum, \u0131sl\u0131k \u00e7al\u0131yorum belli belirsiz o konu\u015furken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Metin\u2019le ayn\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131 seviyoruz, Metin\u2019in haberi yok. Metin\u2019le ayn\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fl\u00fcyoruz, k\u0131z\u0131n ikimizden de haberi yok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
K\u0131z\u0131n bilip bilmemesi umurumda de\u011fil, gencim daha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bir \u0131rmak d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fc yol \u00fczerindeki bir bostandan birka\u00e7 domates, patl\u0131can \u00e7al\u0131yoruz Suat\u2019la, \u00e7ok a\u00e7\u0131z. \u201cH\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131k de\u011fil, g\u00f6z hakk\u0131\u201d diyerek durumu me\u015frula\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yoruz, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc g\u00fcnah i\u015flemekten korkuyoruz. Fakat a\u00e7l\u0131k her t\u00fcrl\u00fc g\u00fcnah\u0131 anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131r k\u0131l\u0131yor. Ate\u015f yak\u0131p patl\u0131canlar\u0131 s\u00f6\u011f\u00fcrt\u00fcyoruz. K\u00f6zlenmi\u015f patl\u0131can, domates, so\u011fan ve biraz yarpuzu \u00e7ak\u0131mla do\u011frayarak salata yap\u0131yorum. Uzun zamand\u0131r yedi\u011fimiz en lezzetli yemek oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyoruz. Ke\u015fke karpuz da a\u015f\u0131rsayd\u0131k diyorum, g\u00fcl\u00fcyoruz. Suat daha g\u00fczel g\u00fcl\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suat\u2019\u0131n a\u011fabeyi benim liseden s\u0131n\u0131f arkada\u015f\u0131m, mahalleden futbol arkada\u015f\u0131m. Suat beni abisinden \u00e7ok seviyor, pe\u015fimden ayr\u0131lm\u0131yor. Haylazca itsem de onu \u00e7o\u011fu kez, uzun zaman k\u00fcsk\u00fcn duram\u0131yor, \u00e7ok tatl\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcyor yine. \u00c7ok fakirler, \u00e7ok kalabal\u0131klar maaile. Yine de her zaman g\u00fclecek bir \u015feyleri var nas\u0131lsa. Fakir insanlar, ne\u015felerinden ba\u015fka kaybedecek \u015feyleri yok diye mi her zaman b\u00f6yle g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyorlar bilmiyorum. Ya da inatlar\u0131ndan m\u0131 b\u00f6yleler bilmiyorum. Dert etmiyorum, zamanla mutlulu\u011fun s\u0131rr\u0131na ererim belki. Yolum uzun, gencim daha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Biz fakir de de\u011filiz, zengin de. Babam\u0131n d\u00fczenli maa\u015f\u0131 var, \u00e7ok olmasa da. Babam da var benim, herkesin yok. Suat\u2019\u0131n babas\u0131, varla yok aras\u0131. Suat\u2019\u0131n babas\u0131 -Mahmut amca- d\u00fczenli olarak i\u00e7iyor. Paray\u0131 nerden kazan\u0131yor bilmiyorum. Bir el arabas\u0131 var, sebze sat\u0131yor. Bir el arabas\u0131nda ka\u00e7 kilo domates-biber olur ki topu topu? Hepsini satt\u0131n diyelim, ka\u00e7 para eder ki? Bunun sermayesi de var, hepsi k\u00e2r de\u011fil ki! Nas\u0131l bu kadar i\u00e7ip-s\u0131z\u0131p kendini silmeyi ba\u015farabiliyorsun bu parayla Mahmut amca? Hayat\u0131n matemati\u011fini \u00e7\u00f6zemiyorum \u00e7o\u011fu zaman, gencim daha\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suat tarlalarda g\u00fcndeli\u011fe giderdi zaman zaman, b\u00fct\u00fcn paras\u0131n\u0131 babas\u0131 al\u0131yormu\u015f elinden. Bunu \u00f6\u011frenince \u00e7\u00f6zd\u00fcm matemati\u011fi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ben matemati\u011fi bu y\u00fczden mi hi\u00e7 sevemedim, bilmiyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yaz bitiyor, okul ba\u015fl\u0131yor, s\u0131n\u0131f arkada\u015f\u0131m, Suat\u2019\u0131n abisi Mehmet, okulu b\u0131rak\u0131p garsonlu\u011fa ba\u015fl\u0131yor, para kazanmas\u0131 laz\u0131mm\u0131\u015f. Oysa \u00e7ok zekiydi, benden daha ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131, ama art\u0131k okumayacakm\u0131\u015f. Akdeniz iklimini, yazlar\u0131n s\u0131cak ve kurak, k\u0131\u015flar\u0131n \u0131l\u0131k ve ya\u011f\u0131\u015fl\u0131 ge\u00e7ti\u011fini kitaplardan de\u011fil, hayattan \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f zaten, okuyacak ne kalm\u0131\u015f ki geriye\u2026 Onun hayat\u0131 yaz k\u0131\u015f cehennemdi nas\u0131lsa\u2026 Bunlar\u0131 konu\u015furken o da g\u00fcl\u00fcyordu Suat gibi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zaman ge\u00e7iyor, hayat \u0131s\u0131n\u0131yor, mevsimler d\u00f6n\u00fcyor, ku\u015flar g\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcyor, ya\u015famakla s\u0131nan\u0131yoruz, s\u0131navlar bitmiyor. Suat\u2019la pek s\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015femiyoruz, kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z zaman her seferinde daha da zay\u0131flam\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rerek \u015fa\u015f\u0131r\u0131yorum. \u0130yi beslenmedi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum, y\u00fcz\u00fcne kar\u015f\u0131 s\u00f6ylemeye utan\u0131yorum. Zaten az olan har\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fmeyi teklif etsem de kabul etmez, \u00e7ok gururludur. Yemek \u0131smarl\u0131yorum, pek i\u015ftah\u0131 yok, fazla yemiyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ayva sar\u0131, nar k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131, sonbahar\u2026 Eyl\u00fcl\u2019de \u00fcniversiteyi kazan\u0131p mahalleden \u00e7ok uzaklara gidiyorum. \u201cOtuz Be\u015f Ya\u015f\u201d \u015fiirindeki gibi hayata beraber ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z dostlarla da yollar bir bir ayr\u0131l\u0131yor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
K\u0131\u015f\u0131n sonlar\u0131na do\u011fru bir sabah, \u00f6\u011frenci yurdunda bir gazete ge\u00e7iyor elime, H\u00fcrriyet Gazetesi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Arka sayfada bir haber: \u201cSekiz y\u00fcz bin lira bulunmazsa bu \u00e7ocuk \u00f6lecek!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Haberin foto\u011fraf\u0131nda Suat var, bir hastane yata\u011f\u0131nda\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Y\u00fcz\u00fc solmu\u015f, g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemiyor bu kez. Kalbi do\u011fu\u015ftan delikmi\u015f, ameliyat olmas\u0131 gerekiyormu\u015f, bunun i\u00e7in sekiz y\u00fcz bin lira laz\u0131mm\u0131\u015f\u2026 Yani \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck para. Cebi delik insanlar\u0131n bir de kalbinin delik olmas\u0131\u2026 Hayat\u0131 bir tokat gibi ya\u015famak\u2026 Kelimeler bazen i\u015fe yaram\u0131yor\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Haziran sonu, yaz tatili, mahalleye d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum. Suat\u2019\u0131n ameliyat\u0131 i\u00e7in Ankaral\u0131 bir hay\u0131rseverin gazetedeki haber \u00fczerine paray\u0131 g\u00f6nderdi\u011fini, ama bunun i\u00e7in \u00e7ok ge\u00e7 kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, Suat\u2019\u0131n para gelene kadar son nefesini verdi\u011fini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorlar. Her s\u00f6zc\u00fck bir dinamit, i\u00e7imde bir maden oca\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131m\u0131 orada harcamad\u0131m, hayat uzundu, laz\u0131m olacakt\u0131 nas\u0131lsa, gen\u00e7tim daha\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yard\u0131m i\u00e7in g\u00f6nderilen paray\u0131 abilerinden birinin d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcne sarf ettiler, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 olursa ad\u0131n\u0131 Suat koyacaklarm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
O d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne gitmedim elbette, \u0131rmak k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131na gittim ak\u015fam\u00fczeri. S\u00f6\u011f\u00fct dal\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ak\u0131mla yontarken \u201c\u0130tiraz\u0131m Var\u201d \u015fark\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u0131sl\u0131kla \u00e7ald\u0131m, akarsuyla bak\u0131\u015farak\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7ok fakirdi, fon \u00fczerinden falan edindi\u011fi serveti olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 mesela, sebepsiz zenginle\u015fmemi\u015fti, sebepsiz g\u00fcl\u00fcmserdi sadece.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Muhtemelen sebze \u00e7almaktan ba\u015fka g\u00fcnah\u0131 yoktu Suat\u2019\u0131n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
17\u2019sinde \u00f6ld\u00fc, \u00e7ok gen\u00e7ti daha\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“ku\u015flar toplanm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcyorlarke\u015fke yaln\u0131z bunun i\u00e7in sevseydim seni\u201dCemal S\u00fcreya Irma\u011f\u0131n kenar\u0131nda s\u00f6\u011f\u00fct dal\u0131 yontuyorum pasl\u0131 \u00e7ak\u0131mla, duda\u011f\u0131mda bir \u0131sl\u0131k. Daha yeni \u00f6\u011freniyorum \u0131sl\u0131kla ritim tutturmay\u0131. Irmak, t\u0131pk\u0131 hayat gibi kimi zaman nazl\u0131-dalg\u0131n, kimi zaman k\u0131vrak bir k\u0131srak gibi co\u015fkulu akarak ge\u00e7iyor yan\u0131mdan. Zaman umurumda bile de\u011fil, hayat umurumda bile de\u011fil, kan\u0131m deli ak\u0131yor, gencim daha\u2026 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14002,"featured_media":161248,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_yoast_wpseo_focuskw":"Suat","_yoast_wpseo_title":"","_yoast_wpseo_metadesc":"Irma\u011f\u0131n kenar\u0131nda s\u00f6\u011f\u00fct dal\u0131 yontuyorum pasl\u0131 \u00e7ak\u0131mla, duda\u011f\u0131mda bir \u0131sl\u0131k. Daha yeni \u00f6\u011freniyorum \u0131sl\u0131kla ritim tutturmay\u0131.","_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":"","_yoast_wpseo_focuskw_text_input":""},"categories":[9240],"tags":[11729,11761],"yoast_head":"\n